


All I Ask

by minstreltroubadour



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 19:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minstreltroubadour/pseuds/minstreltroubadour
Summary: Claire contemplates her decision after promising Jamie to go back through the stones. A little, one-shot 2x06 post-scene fic.





	All I Ask

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: A little one-shot 2x06 post scene fanfic. Set in the Outlander TV universe. I was looking though episode gifs and I came across the one where Jamie asks Claire to promise to go back. S/C acting just gets me and I thought of this scene during my commute home. I'm quite glad of how it turned out and hope you like it! Still getting back to my writing rhythm - all comments/suggestions are most welcome. :)

**Claire’s POV**

 

“So if anything should happen to me...” Jamie begun his plea but I was having none of it.

“Don't talk like that.” I quickly interrupted his thought by grabbing his hand, bring him back to me, to us, to what it is were fighting for. 

“I want there to be a place for you. Someone to care for you. For our bairn.” He raised his hand to touch my cheek trying to subdue the heaviness of what we’re discussing but it was not calming me down. “I want it to be a man that loves you.” He continued.

I couldn’t think. This was not how I envisioned our evening conversation would be - not about the future, not about Frank, especially just after the biggest fight in our marriage so far. We were raw, fragile, barely on solid ground, but now, he’s adamant in reopening the wounds of a battle I was not prepared for. I did not shy away from showing the confusion on my face but Jamie rambled on.

“So, now, it's my turn to ask you for a promise.” Jamie pressed on, looking directly to my eyes, stilling me to not speak. “Promise me that if the time should come, you will go back through the stones. Back to Frank.” 

Jamie’s stare told me he’s waiting for my reply and his nod is convincing me to agree without question. I can’t believe he’s springing this on me right now. One second, he was rubbing my aching feet, the next, were back in deep to the hurt of yesterday. He caught me completely off guard and I thought, maybe, he had planned for this conversation to happen tonight after all.

I didn’t have time to prepare a comeback, nor did he give it to me; To argue, to give him more reasons why and who were doing this for, to convince him that parting is and will never be an option. But the worst part is, knowing Jamie, he’d not let me go until I said what he needed and wanted to hear. If I said otherwise, this argument will continue on until he bore me down to acceptance. 

Even though Jamie and I only been married less than a year, we knew very well the dynamic of why and how our relationship works. Being passionate with each other came natural to us as breathing, being drawn to each other like magnets was out of our control and loving each other was the most powerful thing we’d ever felt - same goes with our fights. With his Fraser stubbornness and my advanced worldly views, our fights were passionate and fierce that had the power to tear us apart. We both knew it, so for the most part, we easily compromise and have learned to pick and choose our battles. I stared into his blue eyes and knew this was one fight I cannot win, at least, _not right now_.

“I promise.” I replied, with a confused and unconvinced voice. I knew he’d detect it but instead of calling me out for it, he kissed me on the lips as if to seal our agreement. His hand moved from my cheek to the swell of my belly. I looked down and placed my hand on top of his, holding and protecting our child, together.

His gaze returned to me and I know that my glass face would show him my objection to his thoughts. Of course, he didn’t say anything – he’d already have the last word and frankly, I still couldn’t speak from the shock of his decision. 

Jamie leaned over to my stomach, kissed his unborn child and laid his head in my lap as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I held him close in my hands and ran my fingers through his hair, not wanting to break this brief moment of a breather between us. 

_What the hell did I just agree to!_ I thought as I looked around the room for some comfort and reason as to why and how Jamie had come to conclude this plan and, somehow, accept this possible fate of our future…t _wo years ahead of time_.  

The prospect of Jamie’s death was the last thing that crossed my mind when we embarked on this 2-year journey. 

_We had time. That’s why we’re here, because we had the chance to save what we wanted to save._

These thoughts cloud my mind as I finally start noting my own argument points against Jamie’s plans. After all, isn’t that what we’re trying to prevent? His death and the loss of the Scotland we loved? My heart unexpectedly felt heavy and overwhelmed. I was startled by the sudden emotion, coming to a little understanding and as I gazed upon Jamie, I wonder how much more he was feeling. My heart suddenly changed from my selfish feelings to an ache for the burden he must be carrying, a burden I didn’t fully realise until now, here, as he laid his head on me and I felt tension release from his body. 

My mind went to an internal argument, back and forth, with itself and my conscience.

_Can we just stay here forever? Just like this?_ My mind thought. 

_It was your idea to change the future._ My conscience answered.

_I did it so that he will live, so that Scotland will live!_

_And he’s doing the same for you and your son or daughter._

_We were doing this so we could be together in this time, in this century!_

_It’s the only way to assure your family lives._

_Planning for a future we didn’t want?_

“We need all our options, Sassenach” he whispered quietly. Bloody scot, always know what I’m thinking. It’s one of the things I love most about him but maybe, not so much today.

“But that’s not the plan, Jamie. You know what will happen, we can still do it…”

“I ken” he interrupted. “But didn’t you think otherwise?”

“No.” I said with quiet conviction.

“No?” Jamie replied with a slight, humorous disbelief in his voice.

“No. I believe we will succeed” I said in strained confidence. Jamie’s been working tirelessly in this endeavor and now is not the right time to dampen his spirit when things are finally moving forward. To where, we still don’t know but we need to celebrate this progress to lift our spirits. Something is happening and we need to acknowledge that. “Still do” I added for measure.

Jamie snorted a laugh and lightly hit is head. 

“You have that much faith in me? In us?” He asked, with both joy and fear at my apparent confidence. 

I continued to stroke the nape of his neck in a slow soothing motion – the kind I know he loves and makes him squirm like a cat. If he could silence me with a stare, I know how to get back at him with my touch. I heard him sigh in contentment. “I have so much more faith in you than you’d like to think and I have that much faith in us - as long as we’re together, right?” 

“Aye. But isn’t that a lot of pressure to live up to, Sassenach?”

“We have to try, Jamie” I pleaded. 

“I ken.” 

He moved to get up but I gripped his head tighter to steady him in place. “Not yet” I whispered. “Just stay right there a little while longer”. He immediately relaxed on my request and felt more tension holding him slowly ebb away.

“Just, uhm, - Let me take care of you for a while, keep you safe and here with me.” He accepted my invitation and relaxed against my body. His breathing steadied and he finally surrendered to me in deep slumber. 

I cuddled him and our child together, the loves of my life. This is all I wanted, all I dreamed of, all I prayed for. Finally, I have it and I will not let it go – at least, not right now. 

_Lord, the he and the child may be safe._ My last thought as I let Jamie’s breathing to lull me to sleep too. 


End file.
